So it begins...

My new life has begun. Its strange...
With so many things of my past being in a shattered state, I'm doing really well. Maybe because I've played these scenarios over and over again in my head, so now when they've finally happened I'm emotionally prepared.
I think I've been mourning over all these events for a long time and I'm out of tears now.

I've gotten my own little 1 bedroom in-law apartment. Brighton, you really like "Daddy's house" since there's a beautiful backyard with a botanical garden and a small little pond with a fountain.
It didn't take long for you to start running laps around the backyard with Finley (landlord's dog) chasing you around.
You are young and may not understand all that's going on, and for that, I'm grateful. With all you kids being so young, it made me feel horribly guilty leaving your mom, but I know now that this was the best time to go, since you are too young to really understand the what's going on when we say "Mommy's house" and "Daddy's house".

Its sad for me to know that I have to rebuild everything. My social life has been destroyed since so many are upset with my decision in the congregation.
At one time, I really thought that the best friends in the world would be found within the Organization, but now I feel differently.

This is worst time in my life and I've had to make the hardest decision possible, and I had to do it alone. I haven't talked with Reuben yet, but I've lost just about everyone else. Matt told me that if I signed the divorce papers, our friendship was over and it would never be the same.
I understood.

If there's anything that I understand now, you can't lie and deny how you feel.
So I've had to make new friends. Jon Mills from work has really been there for me and he didn't know me all that well prior to these events. We're getting to be close friends and I'm grateful to him that he's able to fill that emptiness.

But everyday, I try to swing by and see you kids. Even a hug and a kiss to remind you everyday that I love you and will always be a presence in your lives. You are my babies.

I'm still trying to figure out what to do now though. Some guys would celebrate this transition and embrace their new freedom by getting out there and chasing skirts. But I don't feel that way. I guess I still am mourning for the loss of something I tried to devote my life to...